Curiosity kissed the cat
by MorgauseNokami
Summary: Above all, Darcy Lewis was curious. That's why she was sneaking down the Einstein-Rosen bridge in the middle of the night. Loki/Darcy banter galore.


Darcy Lewis was many things. She was smart, loyal and sensible. She cared for people and wasn't afraid to let it show. She didn't take life too seriously, which helped a lot when it sucked. She used her funny as a defense mechanism as well as a way of connecting with people. She was headstrong and blunt and not very tactful, unless she chose to be. But above all was _curious_.

Curiosity was what defined her most. It was the reason she had picked an internship with an astrophysicist over something that actually related to her major. It was the reason she moved to New Mexico in the first place, to study at a college on the other side of the country despite the fact that she missed her family and friends so much. It was the reason she lost her virginity at fifteen and knew for a fact that women didn't turn her on the same way men did. It was the reason why she had done innumerable stupid things – and just as many things that only seemed stupid beforehand, but actually turned out to be the most wonderful experiences of her life.

It was also the reason that she was sneaking down the Einstein-Rosen bridge in the middle of the night.

Oh, it would likely be one of those innumerable stupid things, but she simply couldn't resist. Thor had told her gently that his father did not respond well to the idea of humans randomly visiting Asgard, and Jane had rather expressively made clear that she was very unimpressed with the All-father's visitation rules in a number of rants that sadly only Darcy was privy to. However, she had also shared many stories of the beauty and grandeur of Asgard as well as the cold darkness of Svartalfheim. And Thor's own stories about his home, despite his grief over his mother and brother, only served to increase Darcy's desire to see these new and exciting places. By the time her freak out about the situation in London had passed (around the same time she lost any and all interest in Intern Ian), her curiosity had grown to such heights it was becoming unbearable. There were entire _worlds_ out there, and Darcy Lewis needed to see them.

She was captured by Heimdall before she had properly set foot on Asgardian soil, and taken before Odin All-father himself before she had a chance to even _try_ to convince the guardian just to let her have a peek.

"Obviously not one of my better ideas," she mumbled, framed by two guards. Thor's father looked down at her menacingly from his throne.

Odin was an elderly man, but he still looked just as powerful as Thor, and a lot less like a dimwitted teddy bear. "Who is this?" he called in a strong voice, his one eye narrowing.

"Darcy Lewis, sir," she said, fighting the urge to clack her heels. "…king – your majesty."

Oh, good going, Darcy. She was really putting that political science degree to good use.

"A Midgardian?" he asked, distaste clear in his voice.

"A friend of Jane's," she quickly added. "You know, Thor's girlfriend. Intended."

He raised a single brow – well duh. The distaste didn't disappear from his face; if anything, it increased. Seems like the in-laws were just as enamored with Jane as she was with them. Darcy knew it wasn't nice to gloat at the expense of a friend, but a small and vindictive part of her _was_ pleased that perfect Jane wasn't a favorite everywhere she went. Not that she was actually jealous of her boss-turned-friend, but next to Jane she always felt like blabbermouth Darcy, she with the word vomit, making situations awkward since 1989. And okay, she really _had_ learned to control herself, to put her snarky mouth and quick wit to use instead of embarrassment. But she was well aware of how differently people approached Jane (reverently) and her (cautiously), at least, ever since Thor's appearance had proven the astrophysicist right to the rest of the world.

"As you probably know, Jane is working on an Einstein-Rosen Bridge," she explained. "You know, Bifrost two point oh. I sort of accidentally stumbled into Asgard while working on it." She let out a nervous giggle. "Seems to be working fine! Anyway, if you would be so kind to just send me back, all will be well in the world." She paused and frowned. "Worlds."

Odin didn't seem too impressed. "Take her to the dungeons. I'll contact Thor, we will see what needs to be done," he said, with an imperial wave to the guards.

Wait, what?

"That doesn't sound like a particularly good idea," she said, eyes wide, but the guards turned her around, their hands on her arms, and gently but firmly took her out of the room. A little bit afraid and a lot more indignant, she wriggled her cell phone from her pocket – the grip on her upper arms may have been steely, but it did leave some room for maneuvering her hands – and awkwardly snapped some pictures of the immense throne room with one hand, hoping she managed to catch Odin on film. That son of a bitch was going on facebook, and damned if she wasn't going to make it go viral. "All-father Asshole" had a nice ring to it. Or maybe something more clickbaity, like "This girl went to another _world_ and you will **never** **believe** the _shocking_ treatment she received!"

Fortunately, the dungeons weren't as dank and gloomy as she had expected. She was put in a holding cell with fancy magical walls that sizzled threateningly when she came close to them. It was bare except for some sort of stool, which she sat on with a huff when the guards left her alone. She checked her phone, but obviously, there was no reception. She contemplated screaming, but it didn't seem like it would accomplish much. It appeared that she really would have to wait till Odin contacted Thor – or, more likely, until Jane noticed that she was missing, realized that she would have gone to Asgard even though she was told not to, and sent Thor after her. Luckily, Jane was smart and knew her assistant-turned-friend well, and Darcy surmised that she wouldn't be here for longer than a night. However, with just a stool at one's disposal, that night might be very long, especially with the prospect of a Jane-and-Thor combo-sized scolding ahead of her. She sighed and put her head in her hands. Waiting had never been her forte.

After an indefinite amount of time, a guard entered her cell. Darcy hadn't managed to doze off yet, but his sudden appearance startled her nonetheless. She looked up, wary. The guard was tall, blond and broad-shouldered – well, _that_ was a surprise in Asgard. He was quite good-looking, too, but he had a shit-eating grin on his face that immediately bugged the hell out of her.

"Yes?" she asked, when he didn't speak up immediately.

"I just came to check up on our guest," he said smoothly. His voice was, frankly, awesome – low (though not as low as Thor's rumbling bass), velvety, but with a delicious edge that spoke of wildness beneath his cultured words.

She snorted, noticing the way his gaze slid down her body. "Check out your guest, you mean."

He smirked. "Well, that too."

"So… can I go home?" she said, looking up at him.

"That depends," he said, sauntering over to her.

She straightened up, apprehensive. "On…?"

"What you are willing to pay."

She stood up, stepping back next to the stool. "Why do I not like where this is going?" she said.

He laughed, a low chuckle that did something to her insides despite the fact that she was _not_ liking where this was going. He put his hand on the wall next to her head, bending his tall frame closer to her. "A kiss, lovely maiden, that is the price of your passage."

She frowned, swallowing any nervousness she might have felt in the proximity of a tall man with his eyes on her body, let alone a male stronger than any human would ever be. "That's a pretty weird price. Who am I supposed to kiss, then? Heimdall? Odin?"

He laughed. "It would almost be worth it to see you try."

He loomed over her, and she forced down panic with a combination of snark and the weird surge of heat that his voice raised in her body. Not that that didn't confuse her or anything. "Don't you have anything better to do than pestering the poor silly mortal that accidentally stumbled into Asgard?" she snipped, lifting her chin defiantly. A thought appeared in her head and she narrowed her eyes. "…a guard _would_ have something better to do."

He raised an eyebrow, but with a sudden clarity, she knew she was right. "This is not the way that Asgard would treat a prisoner, let alone an accidental intruder."

His gaze turned sharp. "And how would you know how Asgard would treat a prisoner?"

"Thor…"

Before she could even properly start her sentence, the guard morphed into Thor in full armor.

Darcy took her glasses off and started cleaning them, then put them back on. "Sorry, total Giles moment."

"Darcy Lewis," boomed Thor in that wicked low voice of his. He was looming over her like the guard had, and she had studied – okay, not so secretly ogled – his strong physique often enough to feel a little bit threatened by his closeness. And that in itself was telling enough, wasn't it?

"What are you doing in Asgard? I have told you the All-father is not interested in Midgardian visitors," he said. He sounded friendly enough, she supposed. Just the right amount of reproachful.

"You're not Thor," she said.

His big hand reached out to touch his cheek, and he laughed his generous Thor-laugh. "I am not? Who am I then?" He even smelled like Thor; clean, a waft of fresh sweat, and something spicy and _other_. It was a good smell, she had to admit. If he wasn't Jane's, she might've gone a little stupid over it, in combination with those upper arms.

"Thor doesn't shapeshift," she said.

His hand ran down her jaw to follow her long neck, bared because she was craning her head to look up at him. "I've watched you, Darcy Lewis," he said.

"He has, however, told us many stories about someone who does," she said.

He put his hand on her shoulder; not too tight, but she knew his superhuman strength well enough to know she couldn't get away like this. "It's not Jane who holds my attention any longer," he said. "It is you."

"Stop it now," she said, suddenly annoyed. "Thor would never do this, and we both know it."

Thor straightened up. Something in his bright blue eyes turned shrewd. If you didn't know him well, you might think the look was out of place on him. Darcy knew him long enough by now to know that he _could_ be shrewd; he was his father's son, after all – unlike others.

"Thor would do a lot of things you couldn't imagine, Midgardian," he said. "Including shapeshifting."

She pushed ineffectively at his chest. "Right, sure, since he's a thousand years old and I've only known him for two and a half. I know. He wouldn't do _this_ , though, 'cause he's not into me, so can you cut the crap?"

He barked a laugh. In the next moment, he changed into a dark-haired man in a green tunic and black pants. He was about as tall as Thor, but a lot leaner.

"Loki," she said, a little breathless although she'd guessed. It was a bit different actually _seeing_ a known terrorist and would-be usurper right in front of you, instead of just realizing it was him behind your friend's face. Let alone if he was presumed dead. Then again, people not being dead when they were supposed to be honestly wasn't the weirdest thing she'd seen the last couple of years. After all, vampires and zombies were just as much part of her pop culture upbringing as superheroes and aliens were. It took some getting used to the actual reality of it, but the concept was familiar enough.

"Darcy Lewis," he said, in the same wicked velvety voice as the first guard. That had been his own voice, then. Damnit.

Of course, he was also a smartass trickster. If he could impersonate any living creature, it would be kind of sad if he couldn't do a dead version of himself.

What was sad was that she hadn't realized that sooner.

What was sad was that _Thor_ hadn't realized it at all.

He was still holding her shoulder. Her free arm was blocked by his, leaning on the wall next to her head, meaning she couldn't give him the slap he so obviously deserved. Growing up with a tall brother had given her more than enough options around that, though. She glared at him and poked him in his side as hard as she could.

She knew she wasn't strong enough to actually hurt him. Being friends with Thor, though, meant she had figured out another way to bring extraterrestrial creatures down: the Asgardian prince was very ticklish when he let his guard down. Fortunately for her, the other Asgardian prince turned out to be just as ticklish, and he wasn't expecting anything. Not wearing armor was probably meant to be an insult; more fool him. Following her poke, an involuntary grin shot over his face, followed by expression of shocked outrage – and he _squeaked_. She couldn't suppress the matching cackle, but she was alert enough to duck out of his reach, at least for the moment.

"You totally deserved that," she snipped, doing her best not to be distracted by how pretty he was. She had to have a serious problem. That voice by itself had been good enough to eat; the realization that it came with Loki, a dude not all that careful with human life, only seemed to add to the butterflies coursing through her stomach – and not at all in a bad way. He scared her, yes, but not enough to be physically unappealing. Sort of like how jumping out of an airplane scared the living daylights out of her and she still did it because the idea of falling from that height had this sort of freaky death-wish appeal and man did parachuting turn out the best thing she ever did.

Serious problem, definitely.

His green eyes narrowed. "You will pay for that, mortal," he hissed, and before she could jump, he was back in front of her, slamming her against the wall.

She had little time to gasp before his mouth was upon hers, kissing her with an intensity that for some reason moved past frightening into exciting without her consent. _Holy fucking shitballs, I'm being kissed by an alien_ , she thought. And she should probably start thinking about whether it was safer for her to just go with it, or to try and defend her honor and push him away. But the only thing her brain could think up, was: _Would he taste as good as he sounds?_ And so she opened her mouth and let her tongue dart out to tease at the seam of his lips. His mouth opened with a groan that got her hotter than his speaking voice had done, and he deepened the kiss with a skill no doubt brought to perfection with centuries of practice.

She really should be starting to think about her safety now. She should be seriously scared. Any time now. But he didn't feel dangerous when his big hand trailed down her side to her hip, pulling her closer. He felt horny. Which, she supposed, could also be dangerous, but not when she was feeling just as horny. She curled her arms around his neck, pushing her fingers into his hair. It was soft and long enough to be the perfect leverage to pull him in deeper.

He pulled away with a gasp, pushing himself off of the wall, out of her reach, looking at her with wide eyes.

"I should've known my thing for bad boys would eventually lead to making out with supervillains," she said, breathless.

His eyes narrowed and he disappeared.

Darcy blinked.

No, he was really gone.

"Seriously?" she said. "This is seriously how this ends?" She touched her hands to her lips, which still tingled. "No maiming? No sex?"

Was it bad to be disappointed? It probably was.

Turns out Thor didn't have to come get her, after all. Not too long after Loki's disappearance, two guards came to get her out of the prison cell and unceremoniously drop her off at Heimdall's magical observatory. The stone-faced guardian sent her back to the lab without a word, leaving her standing in front of Jane's machinery, still reeling from the rush of the Bifrost.

She didn't even get to do a walk of shame; he had dismissed her without even looking at her again. She didn't know whether to be scared or angry or just utterly confused. At least Jane hadn't noticed that she'd snuck off to Asgard, although she would definitely know when she saw the blackened runes on the floor in the morning.

The whole thing made no sense. Why had Loki locked her up in the first place, if apparently he was fine with sending her home without doing anything to her? Had he wanted to get information out of her? Try and lure Thor to Asgard? But Thor went there regularly, so why bother? And why had he shown himself to her? Why didn't he tell anyone he was alive? Thor had mourned him for –

A thundering clap rolled through the laboratory and the Bifrost flashed into view, dropping someone next to her. Not just someone; Loki.

"What the hell?" she said, even more confused.

"I'm sorry, I forgot something," he said smoothly, stepping towards her.

She stepped back. "Oh no, I'm not letting you close again."

He laughed, though it wasn't a pleasant sound. "Afraid of me, Midgardian?"

"Afraid of my hormonal urges," she said, feeling the word vomit come on once more. "Apparently Asgardians are my kryptonite. Or, you know, probably more like my aphrodisiac. Seriously, why do I find you more hot than scary? There must be something very wrong with me."

"Not yet, but there will be," he said, with a malicious grin.

She frowned, fear trickling into her system again. "Are you going to kill me? That makes no sense, either. None of this evening makes sense."

"What is senseless was your idea to trespass on Asgard," he said. He advanced on her again, and she stepped back until her back hit the wall. Again. With her looming over her. Again.

"I seem to find myself in this position too often, tonight," she said nervously, looking up into his dark green eyes. "Any chance this is going to end as nicely as the last time? You know, with an awesome kiss and then you disappearing?"

He smirked. "Possibly." His warm hand landed on her hip and she involuntarily lifted her chin. His fingers slid to the back of her jeans, agonizingly slowly, until he found her smartphone and pulled it out of her pocket.

"Hey! Get off, that's my starkphone," she snapped, breaking out of her aroused haze. "I only got that three weeks ago! I so can't afford another one if I lose it."

He managed to unlock the screen even though he totally couldn't know her password, and she saw him quickly open her photo stream. When he opened the last picture, she gasped. The blurry photo didn't show Odin sitting on his throne, but Loki.

"You've been impersonating your dad!" she said, accusingly.

He grinned darkly. "You say that as if it's the worst thing I have done."

"Why… what the … why the hell are you showing me?" She frowned. "That's what you forgot. Your impersonations don't show up on camera?"

"Not when I haven't factored them into the spell," he said.

She bit her lip, thinking. "So that means your magic alters our perception rather than your material reality."

"You are rather clever for a Midgardian," he said, smirking again.

"I know," she said, rolling her eyes. "But why do you bother telling me all this? You can't be all that interested in a random human." She paused again, realizing his intentions. "You're going to brain wipe me, aren't you," she said, deadpan.

He gave a Gallic shrug. "Only your memories of this night, do not worry. I am not ready for Thor to find out the truth." He leaned closer to her, and she gulped. Thor might smell nice, but Loki's scent was downright intoxicating. Nighttime and old books and mint and something distinctly masculine that she couldn't describe but definitely wanted more of. "You are wrong, though," he said. "You have captured my attention."

She shook her head, confused. "Why –" Her mouth fell open. "Have you been watching me from space?"

He smirked. "I have been watching Thor from space. You happen to be in his vicinity quite often." He leaned even closer, his breath on her lips. "Entering a kingdom unannounced tends to attract its ruler's interest."

"And do you kiss all intruders?" she said, biting her lip.

He laughed, suddenly, and it was a far cry from his evil overlord laugh. It sounded nice, if you didn't know any better. "You're the first one I haven't killed, to be honest."

She managed a weak wave with two hands. "Yay for the cleavage," she said, then bit her lip again. It didn't stop the babbling. "Okay so can we get on with the brain wiping? Because this whole conversation is making me want to somehow escape and tell Thor about you and I'm thinking that's not going to work and will probably end up in a lot of pain for me and a more complicated situation for you and why the hell did you start this weird thing in the first place?"

The look on his face went from slightly confused to angry to in amused, and she wondered why he let her see it before she realized, hey, he didn't have to worry about anything when he was going to brain wipe her. He could be anything he wanted. He could be himself. She felt a pang of pity at that thought and reached up to put her hand on his cheek. He started and then put his hand over hers, stilling before he pulled her hand off his skin.

"May I remind you that you were the one who crept into Asgard unexpectedly?" he said, smoothly. "Odin handled the situation as Odin would handle it. I, on the other hand…" He trailed off.

"…you seriously got so distracted by my boobs that you started making mistakes?" She gaped at him and then looked down at her cleavage. "Holy shit, boobs, good job. Keep up the confusing work."

He shook his head. "No, by your lips," he said, smirking again.

She blinked, and then his mouth was on hers, for the second time that night.

How did he manage to surprise kiss her not once, but twice? This time she was determined not to let him get the upper hand, and she slanted her mouth over his and pulled him close in one smooth move. He was awesomely into the kiss, which she could feel in the way his hands gripped her waist, in the way his hips pressed into her. She may or may not have moaned her approval, which only seemed to up his enthusiasm. "Seriously, dude, does banter turn you on as much as it does me?" she managed, panting, when they broke apart for air. He chuckled and she went on, "Because I have to say –" but she couldn't, because he was kissing her again, and this time both his hands went up to cradle her head and the gesture was so tender that she almost forgot who she was kissing.

And then she did forget.

And then she wasn't kissing anyone.

And then she forgot she had been kissing anyone.

She woke up at her desk, a crick in her neck and an awesomely sexy dream fading much too quickly to the back of her mind.

"Ah, shit, not again," she muttered, taking her smudged glasses off and rubbing her eyes. Her laptop screen had gone black, but the lights were still on. Through the windows she could see night was quickly turning into early morning. "Shit," she said again, yawning. Falling asleep at her desk was something that happened more often than she wanted it to. She totally shouldn't have stayed late to tweak her data files and skim facebook posts, at least, not without coffee, and definitely not when Jane wasn't even there. Who was she even trying to impress?

Her eyes went to the machines that formed the basis of the Einstein-Rosen bridge. Their latest experiments had proven that Jane's theories were correct, that her machinery worked. Thor had compared his beloved's invention to a horse and carriage combined with a map whereas the Bifrost was a gleaming black Porsche with GPS, but hey, they both got you to where you wanted. They had set the Einstein-Rosen Bridge coordinates to Asgard, since Thor could actually call on the Bifrost so they could check where their experiments ended up. It was an awesome experimenting system and so much more efficient than the way they had worked before Thor had come back. She really should make Thor her intern, he was way more useful than Ian.

Should she…

She glanced at the clock above the door. It was close to five a.m. Jane wouldn't be back in the lab before nine, that was the deal Darcy had made with Thor. He could eat all of the food he wanted if he kept their scientist well rested and out of their laboratory long enough for Darcy to sleep in a bit. Despite the lack of science hours, Jane didn't complain too much, probably because Thor kept her well rested by tiring her out with awesomely acrobatic Asgardian sex. Darcy hadn't necessarily wanted to know that, but at some point the Asgardian sex had happened in the lab after work and she had forgotten her phone and there had been this whole situation with her walking into this embarrassing and disturbingly hot scene and …the whole point was, Jane wouldn't be here for four more hours.

She could be back in two. She bit her lip. Maybe three. She didn't have to go far. Just take a little peek around Asgard. Maybe get a closer look at some of the wonderful buildings and gardens that Thor had told them about. She could pick some flowers, bring them back to study. Nobody would have to know.

Steeling her back, she walked over to the machinery and started pushing buttons. Jane had never let her do it before, but she'd watched carefully during the experiments and she knew the settings, knew exactly in what order to start up the various cycles. Not allowing herself to think about it any longer, she stepped onto the platform and waited for the energy to build up. She would only take a quick look around. Who could blame her? She was just so _curious_.

Loki sat on the throne, Odin's guise in place, when he felt the disturbance in the Asgardian atmosphere. Somebody was using the Bifrost. No, not the Bifrost. He moved his hand in front of him and opened a scrying window onto Heimdall's observatory. A brilliant beam of light hurtled into view and then disappeared, leaving a disheveled young Midgardian woman standing in front of Heimdall. She gave an awkward wave at the guardian. Loki blinked, put his hand to his forehead and sighed. "Oh, for Hel's sake."


End file.
